Dark thoughts

I just want to crawl under a rock and disappear

Things are not ok. I'm depressed and everything is too much. Have no energy to do more than absolutely basic necessities. So that means showering when I have to go somewhere or someone comes to ...

Terrible day

With yesterdays emergency to the vet with my poor act, the news about Robin Williams in the middle of the night, another not good session at the psychologist, talking about selling the car again, p...

Life is hard now

I'm struggling real bad.

Long depressing rant....

I'm not doing so good. But I can't talk to anyone about how things really are, because I don't want anyone to get worried. And I do not want to get anyone so worried that they want to admit me to ...

I'm going down

I hate to admit it, but I don't seam to be able to keep the depression at bay anymore. It has taken a hold of me again. I still try to live a little each day. I have finally finished the two stora...

Crap

The emotions decided to show up today. #depressed #crying #lonely

Flelsen av voksende depresjon

Den er fl. Har blitt litt mer deprimert igjen og jeg vet hva som bringer den. Det er sm ting som bringer meg dit. - Hp om ting man gledet seg til, men som ikke vil skje allikevel.- Kommentare...

...

Har ikke s mye skrive om i dag.I gr var ikke noe fin.Endte ikke helt bra,men n er jeg i allefall roligere.Foreldrene mine er bekymret,men jeg orker ikke late som.De vil jeg skal komme til dem,...

Sovet...mye

Jeg har sovet mye n.Etter at jeg var til samtale i gr morgess var jeg s delagt at jeg bare grt.Jeg sendte melding til mine foreldre om at jeg slo av telefonen fordi jeg mtte sove.S tok jeg ...

Det gr rett til helvete

En veldig drlig natt...Selvskading (ingen alvorlig)Ingen svn hittilFler med litt fandenivoldskSkulle gjerne hatt en del alkohol nOg disseHe he...(har dem og mange fler :) )Men m huskeungeneM ...

Utenfor

Fler som om jeg ikke har helt kontakt med meg selv.Er helt tom...ingen flelser...ingen tankerHar gravd meg ned i andres blogger i dag.Blogger av selvskadere og andre psykisk syke.Ikke bra, men je...

Difficult

It's rather difficult this days...I'm not at the bottom, but not far away.Just a wrong word og a look andI tumble down into darkness.I have to move. Find another apartment.That is almost impossible...

Do you really care...

Copyright-PaintmeBlack.blogg.no Not sure anyone really care.Why bother...I'm useless, hopeless and wasted.Why should I hope?Tomorrow proves me wrong again and againI just don't see a future I want...

Can't go to sleep

Can't get that bloody man out of my head. Can't get to sleep. I'm furious.And it's me who have to pay for it...Wan't to dissapear, just swallow all of my meds and hurt my self. But I can't do it no...

Bloody eks-father-in-law

I'm just not going to be able tofeel good about my life!I have got yet another letter from the bonehead about money he seems to think I owe him.I'm so glad I have a lawyer that I can go to.I scanne...

Ikke mye positivt si

Synes livet er ganske dritt for tiden (stooor nyhet!!!)Har hatt det litt hyggelig med ungene i helgen, men har vrt s overflsom for lyder at det har vrt skikkelig slitsomt.Datteren min snakker v...

Dverghamsteren er dd

Jeg er s lei meg Oppdaget nettopp at dverghamsteren min er ddHvordan skal jeg f fortalt det til ungene i morgen? Det blir en trist helg p oss...blir mye snrr og trer her da... Sitter og grine...

Et nytt r - ett godt r?

Har ikke s mye skrive n.Har levert ungene hos faren.Barberbladene skriker til meg...

Blh...

Det gr nedover igjen...Vil ikke!Bruker altfor mye penger om dagen.Er lei meg fordi ungene trives s godt med eksen og kjresten.Har ikke lyst feire jul, men har pyntet litt da. Ungene kommer jo ...
Paint me Black

Paint me Black

41, Re

Woman with AvPd (avoidant personality disorder), social phobia, ADHD and depression.


I'm honest and don't hide anything here but mine and others identity.

I'm a mom to two teenagers.

I have weekly individual therapy with a psychologist and I have meetings weekly with a psychiatric nurse.

My wishes is to be able to manage life without breaking apart at every little bump in the road.

I want to live, but not like this for the rest of my life. That's why I am trying to do something about it.

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