desember 2013

The bubble has burst and some meaningless info

I have been in a "life is okay" bubble for about a week now and it's been good. But now it's burst. Reality is crashing in the door and I can't pretend that nothings going to change anymore. I hav...


Today I have done everything I should have done two months ago.
Suddenly capable of doing very much in a hurry. It won't last, but at least it looks pretty good here. I have even decorated th...


It was a "good" and difficult session with U today. We have some things to figure out after christmas.
I let her read my diary from the last week. I did not read through it before she read i...

It's sunday (or at least it was 10 minutes ago...)

I have survived the weekend.It has been okay. The kids are satisfied.It has been and is difficult to keep the looming feeling of heaviness at bay. I have prepared them for a very slow and mellow ch...


It's so difficult to keep myself together now. I'm constantly fighting with myself. There is a very big part of me that just want's to disappear. I'm having a hard time to stay focused. It seems li...


That's all I want to do now. Hide and never return. I am shrinking.I have a strong need to curl up to a ball and lie down in a corner.Cover myself with a blanket and stay there. Forever. Hiding

Group therapy

No. Group therapy today was not good.To much talk about heavy stuff too soon with the new people on group. I didn't now how to deal with it. I didn't say much at all except answering when spoken di...

Thoughts in the morning

I wrote a post on my phone but I lost it, so I have to write it again. I woke too early today because my son woke me to say he felt sick. I said he had to go to school anyway, but that I could pic...

Nattlig klaging

Jeg burde ha lagt meg for lenge siden. Minst tre timer siden. Jeg har faktisk ftt gjort litt i dag. Det fles bra i det minste for ellers s har jeg det ikke s bra.Jeg klarte holde ting unna t...


It's so frustrating that my emotions comes and go.  Is on and off. I'm okay. I'm so not okay.  I feel that I am losing. I am losing myself. I'm losing the people that's important to ...


My mind has calmed down and emotions are not going up and down all the time. I haven't slept anything this last night. I'm quite tired now. But I hope I get myself early to bed tonight so I'm re...
Paint me Black

Paint me Black

44, Re

Woman with AvPd (avoidant personality disorder), social phobia, ADHD and depression.

I'm honest and don't hide anything here but mine and others identity.

I'm a mom.

I have no psychologist right now, but I may get in some new treatment plan soon. I do have meetings with a psychiatric nurse every other week.

My wishes is to be able to manage life without breaking apart at every little bump in the road.

I want to live, but not like this for the rest of my life. That's why I am trying to do something about it.