oktober 2013

A long boring rant about these two last days

Yesterdays group therapy didn't end very well. And it was my fault. I'm just full of anxiety and can't use the group as I'm supposed to. You have to be able to talk and tell about what you are thi...

4 år og ikke stort bedre

I august var det faktisk 4 år siden jeg startet å skrive denne bloggen.I 4 år har jeg dokumentert en del av livet mitt her. En del er tatt vekk fordi det ikke burde vært der i første omgang.En del ...

Damn it!

Fy faen jeg er så jævlig ubrukelig! Vært på gruppeterapi i dag. Og jeg har det ikke helt greit om dagen. Og jeg har det iallefall ikke greit på gruppeterapien.Fikk flere muligheter til å si noe i ...

26 oktober 2013... Feeling better

The last couple of days my depressed mood has lifted a bit. That's really good. So now I'm just tired, having a cold and am a bit irritated. But even that's better than that heavy depressed feeling...

23 oktober 2013...

I'm sad. Not feeling good at all. I want to cry, but I can't because I'm not able to cry. I have been holding it in for too long. So all I have is a lump in my throat, feeling down and hating every...

Hurra...

Godt at faren til sønnen min sier at siden jeg skal søke om å få halve barnetrygden (som jeg har hatt rett på i 2 år) så betaler han kun halve billappen for han.Og da blir jo så klart jeg den slemm...

18 oktober 2013...

At least I got to see this as a reward for not getting any sleep after 4 am

18 oktober 2013... Still awake

So I'm giving up. I'll go take a shower and then wait for the chimney sweeper to come sometime after 8 am but before 16 pm.

18 oktober 2013... Not good

Slept for 4 hours and I have been awake for 1 1/2 hour now. It's 5.20 am and I could sleep for 2 more hours if I just could fall asleep again. It's so frustrating. I'm not doing well and I really n...

13 oktober 2013... Sorry!

I'm sorry I'm so slow here now. I'm so far behind in what you have been doing lately. And I'm just so tired and it takes too much energy to just unpack and try to be a bit happy these days. I'll c...

13 oktober 2013... Friends and stuff

Yesterday I had a friend visiting. That was nice. We bought something to eat and some candy. We talked and had a really nice evening. It's easier to come visit now. So I'm going to be a bit more so...

11 oktober 2013... Another day has past

I have had a sad feeling all day. I've cried and felt like a child that someone take something precious away from. Stupid world!

10 oktober 2013... Better days

I've having some better days now. 
That's really good after the last week. Yesterday I went to group therapy. I didn't tell anything at first. One of the others had a really bad day on monda...

8 oktober 2013... It's morning day two in my new/old apartment

I have to hurry now. I have group therapy this morning. But I'm still in bed. So now off to the shower, eat something and get in the car. 
I'm quite anxious?

7 oktober 2013...

My cat and I are now both fed and relaxing on the sofas before bedtime in our new home. I think it will be good living here. It's light and lots of space to not feel trapped. He has explored the en...

7 oktober 2013...

On my way home. Taking the bus to my old apartment to get my cat and my car. Trying to not cry

5 oktober 2013... Hospitalized

So... I'm in hospital for the weekend. I sort of collapsed mentally yesterday. All that is happening was too much for my mind it seems. I lost the ability to move and speak in the end. They exclude...

4 oktober 2013...

It looks like I slept really deep tonight. And for a very long time. That's so good. I feel better today. Not so exhausted and tired, but still worn and shaky. Then I might have enough energy to ge...

3 oktober 2013...

To tired to even sit up I'm still exhausted after yesterdays events. It's only 8.45 pm, but I'm going to bed. Good night!

3 oktober 2013...

I've not had a good nights sleep. I kept waking up. At 6 am I couldn't sleep anymore, so I got dressed and went on tumblr to have something nice to do at least. Now it's 8.40 am and I'm so worn out...

2 oktober 2013... It's been a long exhausting day

I've had a really hard day today. In the morning I had an appointment with K. It was going well until he told med that the arrangement I had with that county about me having therapy with him would ...

30 september 2013... A little update

I received a knew email from my sister yesterday. She had read my email more thoroughly and wrote a better response this time. So I guess it's okay between us, unless she thinks my response to her ...

28 september 2013... Photography

My photo shoot yesterday went well. She was only 15 weeks old. So cute and patient. I took some photos and then we had to take a break. And she fell asleep in my arms. I put her to bed to sleep so...
Paint me Black

Paint me Black

40, Re

Woman with AvPd (avoidant personality disorder), social phobia, ADHD and depression.


I'm honest and don't hide anything here but mine and others identity.

I'm a mom to two teenagers.

I have weekly individual therapy with a psychologist and I have meetings weekly with a psychiatric nurse.

My wishes is to be able to manage life without braking apart at every little bump in the road.

I want to live, but not like this for the rest of my life. That's why I am trying to do something about it.

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