19 juli 2013... About being open about atheism

I'm an atheist.

My family knows that. They like to think that its something I will give up and come back to my right place as a servant of god. I'm quite sure they wont call me an atheist, because thats to terrible to think about. I'm just a bit lost.

And I want to shout out loud to them what I see now. How much more sense the world is now that I don't believe theres a god thats responsible.
And how amazing everything is. So many interesting things there is to learn instead of just accepting what you are being told.
I lived my life in a little box. Where life was limited and narrow minded. And when I finally just couldn't believe in a god anymore, I felt the world open up to me. Yes it was frightening. I wasn't quite sure how to live without the religion and rules. But I'm so much freer. The world is full of exiting things.

And I'm afraid of telling them this. And it's so frustrating. I want to show it on Facebook. They do it, but I'm afraid I'm going to offend them and hurt their feelings. Especially my parents off course. They are old and they are afraid that they will spend eternity in heaven without their precious youngest daughter. I want to just laugh at it, but in their mind it is the truth. So I keep my mouth shut and just keep the pain and frustration on the inside.

I regret telling my parents because ever since I did, my mum is trying to convince me/herself that I still believe. And thats almost every time we speak. And she's annoying enough without her compulsion to preach to me and tell me that they pray for me all the time.

I planned on just writing a few words this time, but it seams I'm not able to stop when I first start.

I want to be able to share what I discover about science and just plain humanity. It's so exiting. And I want to share it just as they share their so called truth.

Its hard to believe that my brothers and sisters who are intelligent and strong don't question anything about what they believe. That they just accept it. And strive to dig deeper into the bible and books about christianity and how they should live their lives. But they just refuse to even try to see things from an other side.

Frustrating being the only open atheist in the family. There might be a few more, but I don't know who.

2 comments

Keths!

30.08.2013 kl.21:08

Bare innom for nske deg ei god helg :D

Paint me Black

30.08.2013 kl.22:15

Keths!: Takk! God helg til deg og :)

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Paint me Black

Paint me Black

40, Re

Woman with AvPd (avoidant personality disorder), social phobia, ADHD and depression.


I'm honest and don't hide anything here but mine and others identity.

I'm a mom to two teenagers.

I have weekly individual therapy with a psychologist and I have meetings weekly with a psychiatric nurse.

My wishes is to be able to manage life without braking apart at every little bump in the road.

I want to live, but not like this for the rest of my life. That's why I am trying to do something about it.

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